Shedding Negative Money Narratives: Advice from a Financial Therapist

More often than not, people of color have been on the other side of financial privilege. As opportunities to create wealth grow in industries like tech, entrepreneurship, and real estate- we have seen a call to action in how to lessen, and eventually close, the racial wealth gap. More people, especially those of color, are getting involved with their money and taking the necessary steps to create and plan for generational wealth.

In my work as a financial therapist, I have helped clients navigate what it means to be a first-generation wealth builder- the first person within a family to potentially impact the wealth of older and younger generations. While making “good” money has positive impacts, it can be uncomfortable to stand in new financial privilege, knowing it is different from the experiences of your family of origin. Money impacts almost all facets of our lives, the untangling and dissecting of our money beliefs is a complex and necessary process to ensure our financial wellness.

Financial therapy seeks to explore our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors around how we engage with money. It can require the reframing of behaviors and ideas that often stem from our upbringing. Challenging clients to gain insight into how these beliefs may be hindering them from cultivating a more positive mindset.

To continue growing our wealth, shedding negative money narratives is needed to manage how we emotionally handle our ever-changing place on the financial spectrum. Especially, if we want to ensure we not only have enough but can pass it on.

A few tips that may be helpful as you navigate life as a first-generation wealth builder:

1. Recognize the Stories You Were Told About Money: What did money represent? What did “having” money mean when you were growing up? When you are aware of what beliefs you had growing up you can check them against what you believe now. Are those beliefs still serving you?

2. Acknowledge the Change in Mindset: You may begin to think differently, this can be hard, but it is a part of growth. Allow the feelings to exist, this is not a bad thing. It is just different.

3. Talk to a Partner, Family Member, or Friend You Trust: sharing your feelings with someone you trust helps combat feeling isolated.

4. Be Kind to Yourself: It can be easy to feel bad about doing well financially, especially if others around you aren’t in the same position. Give yourself grace in knowing that where you are may be exactly where others before you were hoping someone in the family would get. That is something to celebrate. Keep passing that knowledge on. 

Each of these reflections is not only useful for personal introspection, but can also be considered as a starting point for conversations with your financial planner, therapist, life coach, or anyone else involved with your mental, emotional and financial wellbeing. Growing wealth is a universal aspiration, and the way it manifests and blossoms is unique for every individual. Change is difficult, and it’s important to continually examine our beliefs with a critical yet open mind.

Armed with eternal optimism and an empathetic approach, Aja has been providing psychotherapy for over a decade. Aja owns and operates a private practice in NYC focused on helping individuals navigate self-esteem, relationships, and stress related to your career, finances, income, or wealth. She aims to support individuals on their journey to becoming the best versions of themselves. Specializing in financial therapy, Aja offers practical services that help her clients shift their mindsets and take steps to intentionally improve their relationship with money. In her spare time, Aja enjoys spending time with her friends and family, scoping out new restaurants, and running around the craft brewery scene with her two young children.