What is your enough?

True abundance flows from enough; never from more.

- Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money

Last week we hosted a Mana Wisdom Circle - a virtual conversation held over Zoom - with a group of women across America talking about money. We weren’t sure if this would be the right time for the topic, as it’s a conversation women historically have been more afraid to have than a conversation about their own death. But to our pleasant surprise, it was a unanimous success, full of discovery, vulnerability and never-told stories around money. It was a powerful evening that opened us up in beautiful ways. We shared how this connection we were having wouldn’t have been possible five weeks earlier. And it created a feeling that surprised all of us during these isolating times: gratitude. 

And now that our ears are open to this, we’re finding similar perspective shifts everywhere, especially among our clients. Just a few highlights:

• Before COVID, one couple we work with outsourced just about every household task because of their busy schedules. At home, they’re finding joy in more quality time with their toddler. They’ve cut down on how much they outsource because they have time and keeping the home neat brings them peace. As a byproduct, they have more expendable cash left over at the end of the month. 

• For the last decade, one client spent Monday through Friday on planes. Weekends were reserved for connection with her partner and children. Now she can have dinner with her children on a Wednesday (and every night of the week). This time has given her pause, leaving her to question if there is a different way to live her life when we come out of this.

• My very own condominium complex has historically been a more ‘keep-to-yourself’ environment. I have met more of my neighbors in the past few weeks than I have met in the six years prior. Some neighbors have started a sunset serenade session, bringing out their instruments and inviting all to sing along. My husband and I are now making Sunday deliveries to our neighbors who can’t make it to the market. 

So what can we learn from this? 

This experience makes us wonder if maybe we haven’t been asking the right questions when we get together over Zoom. Yes, we all want to feel validated for how many times we empty the dishwasher, go crazy watching children, and discuss the latest grocery dramas. 

But instead of spotlighting only the discomfort of this moment, what if we instead shifted our approach to ask: What aspects of this new experience can you appreciate? 

If you live in traffic-heavy areas like Southern California, Seattle or the San Francisco Bay Area, how has it felt gaining back the hours of your day you don’t have to spend in traffic?

If you were trying to figure out how to balance work with family life before the pandemic, how has it felt to spend more time with your child and/or your spouse than you can have ever imagined?

If you’ve been trying to find enough time in the day to establish a workout or meditation routine, how has it felt to have enough time to start something you’ve been trying to start for so long?

In conversations with friends, neighbors and clients, we’re finding abundant examples of how people are shifting their perspective, letting go of stress and fear, and counting their blessings in the present moment while redefining their version of how much they really need in their life. Is it possible that this experience is shifting our definition of what is enough? 

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings

- Lao Tzu

We are experiencing an unprecedented period in our human history. A time that comes with many costs and brave and often thankless sacrifices. These discoveries aren’t to diminish the impact, but merely to offer a silver lining to the majority of us who are lucky enough to be staying safe at home. 

There is no doubt in my mind that, when the time comes, children will go back to school, people will return to their jobs or find new ones and we will get to travel again. Resilience is in our DNA. Precisely when we’ll return is a question nobody can answer right now. What’s more interesting for me to ponder is how we’ll change as a society when we come out of this. What will we have learned? Will our priorities change? What will we value? How much will be enough?

Cristina Livadary is a fee-only financial planner based in Los Angeles, California and is the CEO of Mana Financial Life Design. Mana Financial Life Design provides comprehensive financial planning and investment management services to help clients organize, grow and protect their wealth throughout life’s journey. Mana specializes in advising professionals in the tech industry, as well as women who work in institutional investing, through financial planning and investment management. As a fee-only fiduciary and independent financial advisor, Cristina never receives commission of any kind. She is legally bound by her certification to provide unbiased and trustworthy financial advice.